[quoteRight]The artist is nothing without the gift, but the gift is nothing without work.” – Zola [/quoteRight]
“Mom, you should take a picture of Riley and I together like you used to.”
I heard him behind me from where I sat at my desk, laying on my office floor with his new legos, humming to himself. My office used to be just my creative space, but has become OUR space lately in an attempt to give him some balance and a place away from the chaos that is his little brother. It is where he hides his most precious things and where he goes when He wants time to himself. I wasn’t even sure at first that He was talking to me because the statement was so random. Before I could answer, this:
“Mom, why is your camera on the shelf?”
I turned around to see him sprawled out across the floor, on his back with his ankles crossed, holding up his legos to the stream of light coming through the window, examining them. I opened my mouth to respond, but then realized I didn’t really have a good answer. I can’t exactly explain to my seven year old why my camera has sat on that shelf so much…too much. Why it is allowed to collect dust. I knew what He meant. Seeing my camera put up and away was a foreign concept to him. I used to photograph him and his brother almost every single day. But I didn’t have a really good reason why I just haven’t felt the urge to pick it up as much. Why I feel drained more often than I am inspired lately. Or why I make excuses to myself, that I’ll do that project or take that shot that’s in my mind, but I’ll do it later. Why, for the first time in years I feel just a little bit scared of my camera when it comes to my own personal art. Whatever it is, I just haven’t figured it out yet. So, I went with the safe literal answer that I thought he was looking for.
I said: “It’s on the shelf because that’s it’s home. That’s where it belongs.”
He giggled like I said something completely rediculous and said: “A camera can’t have a home! It BELONGS where YOU go!”
And there it was…called out by my seven year old in his matter of fact this is how it is adults are just silly way.
“Take my picture” He grinned.
“Baby, Mommy is tired and busy right now.” I sighed.
“So…” He grinned again.
There it was again. I felt like I had just been challenged to a duel.
So…I took his picture and he tilted his head just a little and said “Silly Girl!”, which is his favorite thing to call me when reminding me that he is always right ;).
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I recently started mentoring again and am loving it. The process of teaching others to see things differently than they normally do or getting them to focus their art in different ways, but yet I haven’t taken the time that I should to do the same for my OWN work this year and my lack of diligence and creative outlet is beginning to show and manifest in other areas of my life. I tell people all the time that they need to get out of their box and their comfort zone if they really want to master things and truly grow in their art, that it isn’t all fun and games, blah blah blah. Sometimes it takes work and pushing yourself through parts of it you don’t like….blah blah blah. 😉 So, it’s time to actually follow my own advice. Time to start pushing myself again…because dreams don’t work unless you do.
I am working on compiling a list of goals and shots and project ideas. I would LOVE for any of my photog friends and followers to share any that they have loved doing, or that they have on their own lists. Time to push myself back into a more creative zone and keep myself there!!! Leave me a comment or suggestion pretty please and thank you! 🙂
